Category Archives: Education

Real Women Run

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The leaders of the women's Mau: Mrs Tuimaliifano, Mrs Tamasese, Mrs Nelson, Mrs Faumuina, photographed c 1930. (courtesy of the National Library of New Zealand)

Today, here where I live, there’s an all day conference specifically for women.  The purpose of the conference Real Women Run is to “encourage women to run for public office, work on political campaigns, serve on public boards and commissions, and participate more actively in the making of public policy.”

Our state does have an embarrassingly low number of women representatives in all levels of government which is exactly what prompted this conference.  I don’t have the stats to back this up but I’m willing to bet that this is probably true of most every state and every country for that matter. And this does need to change!

We women must become more actively involved in the policies and legislations that dictate our lives and not just by exercising our rights to vote although it’s very important that we do that too.  We must have a voice in drafting, revising, and enacting our laws and regulations.  Which means becoming intimately involved in politics and running for office and yes (as much as I hate to think it) becoming politicians.  I can’t think of a job I’d hate more than that of a politician, what with all the butt kissing to get the votes you need, the back stabbing, the empty promises that are forgotten as quickly as they’re made,  the never ending demands to please everybody, the continuing necessity of selling yourself, the fundraising, the campaigning, gosh the list goes on and on.  What’s there to like about being a politician?

Still, politicians make the rules so more women need to be politicians.

So with the publicity this conference has had this week, it was somewhat of a de ja vu to open up the link to yesterday’s Samoa Observer and find that this same issue is in the spotlight there too.  Mata’afa Lesa voiced his concern about Samoa goverment’s proposal to change the constitution to ensure that at least 10% of every Parliament sitting are women.

I’m with Mata’afa on this one.  Members of Parliament, men and women, should be voted in on their own merits and not be handed a seat in order to meet a certain quota.  Giving someone a seat just because they’re of a certain sex belittles that person because we’re basically saying that they’re not intelligent enough or good enough to be voted in by their qualifications.  It also makes mockery of the democratic process and our rights as citizens to decide who we want to represent us. I understand that there are many challenges that women have to overcome but I don’t want to represented by someone who got in there just because she’s a woman.

If our Samoan government want to ensure that there are more women in Parliament, then the place to start is at our elementary and primary schools.  Ensure that girls are given an equal chance for education from the primary level and on through to government scholarships to study at the university level.  Give our Samoan girls every opportunity to excel and continue their education and then we’ll see more women in our Parliament and in other leadership positions in Samoa.

O Le Tulafale

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O Le Tulafale/The Orator

I wasn’t going to write about this film until I’d had a chance to see it for myself but I can’t wait to share my excitement for this film anymore. It’s just fantastic that a film by a Samoan filmmaker done entirely in the Samoan language is being recognized at the highest levels of the film industry.  At first it looked like those of us who live in the US would have to wait forever to see this film but then a couple of weeks ago we found out that it was going to be screened at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.  Can you guess what I did next? That’s right, I immediately started looking for tickets to the Sundance Film Festival.

To land a spot in the Sundance Film Festival is a really really big deal but yet another announcement tops even that.  The Orator has been put forward to be nominated for best foreign language film at next year’s Oscars.  How cool is that!  What a wonderful and exciting achievement for the young Samoan filmmaker Tusi Tamasese.  What makes his achievement even more inspiring is that this young man was born and raised in Samoa until the age of 18.  Youth of Samoa, here’s a bonafide Samoan sucess story.  It can be done!

By the way, don’t you love how everyone lays claim to individuals when they’re famous and successful.  Tusi is now known as a Samoan born New Zealander.  Is it just me, or does that particular description sound as if he is more New Zealander than Samoan?  He might very well be a New Zealand citizen now in which case that billing would be absolutely correct but I think it’s ironic how they’re so quick to make that distinction now that he (or anyone else for that matter) is famous.  I wonder if such a distinction would be made if he was still just a tomato-picker.

I don’t know this young man at all but from what I gather, this kind of success couldn’t have happened to a nicer human being.  What I like about this young man is his humility, lack of pretention and his sense of self.  He seems unaffected by his success and achievement.  He is a Samoan who loves and honors his culture and traditions and is courageous and talented enough to tell a captivating story that brings to light some of the unpleasant and unsavory aspects of those traditions.  And miracle of all miracles he still speaks Samoan fluently.

Did I mention that I’m really looking forward to seeing this film?  This is one date night for hubby and I that’s actually planned, actually not just planned, but planned several weeks in advance.  A fancy dinner and a Samoan language movie in Park City, Utah at the Sundance Film Festival…date night doesn’t get any better than that.  Except perhaps making a whole weekend out of it…ahhhh… I do like the sound of that!

Whose Reality Survives?

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 ”Human reality is human creation, if we fail to create our own reality someone else will do it for us” (‘epeli hau’ofa) as posted on From A Tongan Daughter.

From time to time I like to see what those who are not Samoan post about Samoa.  I don’t do it too often because I almost always end up calling a couple of them all sorts of names in Samoan and English so it’s really not a constructive thing for me to do.  Still, it’s useful to read outsiders perspectives because it helps to remind me of the need to write our own history and not let others write it for us. 

One such blogger, a Peace Corps working in Samoa no less, wrote about her love for the beautiful brown barefooted kids of Samoa.  A tad patronizing but not a problem so far; Samoan kids are beautiful and many of them do run around barefooted so can’t fault her for stating the facts.  However, she went on to say that Samoan kids have so much personality and individualism until Samoan adults beat it out of them (paraphrasing of course).

Did she really just say that?  Samoan adults deliberately set out to beat personality and individualism out of their children? 

To be fair many Samoans reach for the salu kianiu, the fusi pa’u, or whatever’s within reach a little too quickly.  Many do sasa their kids much too hard and too often.  Many cross the fine line between sasa and disciplining to blatant physical abuse.  Is that acceptable?  No, of course not! Any parent (Samoan,Palagi, Saina, Meauli) physically abusing their kids in such a way should be disciplined in the same manner themselves.

She of course has a right to her own opinion and perspective just like I have a right to mine.  However, when she posted her “reality” so to speak in her offical capacity as a Peace Corps working in Samoa, did it affect someone else’s perspective of Samoa?  You bet it did!  It might have changed only the perspective of her family and friends and other colleagues that read her blog but it did affect someone’s else reality.

We as Samoans have to write our own story.  The days of letting others decide who we are as a people, our reality as Samoans, should have ended a long time ago.   Epeli Hauofa is right, if we don’t write and record our own reality then someone else will decide it for us.  History isn’t so much what actually happened but what has survived through written records and other medium.

Choices

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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
(The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost)

“Your choices,” we tell our sons, “will follow you all your life.  The small choices and seemingly unimportant choices that you make on a daily basis affects the big choices that affects the kind of life you want to have” the lecture (I mean discussion) continued.

We revisited this subject again tonight which is probably why I’m writing about it now (you think?… I hear you guys saying right about now)

Actually I have been thinking alot about the paths we choose these last couple of days.  I don’t plan on going into a literary discussion of Frost’s poem here.  My undergraduate days as an English major are long gone and barely remembered so please don’t debate me on what exactly Frost had in mind when he wrote this poem.  For tonight, let’s take these last few lines of the poem as a challenge or invitation for all of us to seek out our own personal paths in life.

How did we become the people we are today? What makes one person outgoing and another not, one person bold or daring and another timid or insecure? Did some of us come with ”focused and successful” switches that turned on at certain points in our lives?  By that same token, did some of us come with ”lazy and loser” switches? Perhaps we  all came with ”focused and successful” switches but some were defective?

We know that we’re influenced by our family, upbringing, cultural and social environment.  But what really makes us the men and women we are today?

If my life was divided into 3 stages then I’m squarely in the second stage of my life.  So looking back to the first part of my life, were there roads I didn’t take that might have made me a vastly different person than the one I am today?  Were there roads I took that were perhaps better left for another traveler?  If I’d turn left instead of right, would I be this person sitting in front of my computer today? What roads or turns will I take tomorrow and how will those twists and turns decide the woman I am ten or twenty years from now?

Looking back again to the road I’ve traveled thus far, I have to say I’m content with the turns I took. No regrets!  Can I say that in 2031 if God willing I’m still here?

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

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No, this post is not about that movie and perhaps “and videotape” is not quite accurate (at least none have surfaced yet) but there’s plenty of sex, lies, accusations, name-calling, finger-pointing and broken promises.  No, wrong again. I’m not talking about an episode of The Good Wife or a day in the life of Kim Kardashian.

This is about something a lot more spiteful than any cat fight you’ve ever seen – the presidential race! The race is heating up and turning ugly by the minute.  You have to be asleep the last few days if you haven’t heard about the sexual harassment accusations against Herman Cain.  I don’t know if these accusations will ultimately turn out to be true or not.  If they’re right, I hope he gets the maximum penalty.  Opponents of Mitt Romney in certain circles are pushing hard to demonize him in the eyes of the public by painting his religion as a cult.  I don’t know Mitt Romney nor do I know who I’m going to vote for at this point but I do know the LDS church of the Mormon church as it’s more commonly known is not a cult.  For a country that believes in “freedom of religion” and was in fact founded largely on this principle, certain presidential camps do seem to be going out of their way to deny this basic right to other Americans.

I’ve no doubt that we’re going to hear and see more of this ugliness as we get closer and closer to the election.  It’s an unfortunate fact that our elections are now surrounded by so much nastiness on the part of the candidates and their campaign organizers.  Is it really impossible at this day and age to mount a campaign on the issues without all the inflammatory rhetoric?  Is there no room for civility in campaigns nowadays? Can we not find honest, moral, upstanding men and women to represent us at the local and national level?

How can we trust people who conveniently forget all their promises once they win the election?  How can we trust people who make sure that they themselves are paid extremely well, have access to superior health and medical care, and a retirement plan that leaves them set for the rest of their lives yet their constituents are hurting for basics like a roof over their head or food on the table?

I have to confess that I don’t have much faith left in our politicians anymore.  The funny thing is that no matter how disgusted I feel about the inevitable let-downs, I can’t help but feel optimistic with each new election.  So now that this round of debates, interviews, and promises are upon as once again I’ll be watching, listening and hoping that this time it will be different!

Thank a Veteran

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In case you forgot, Veteran’s Day is this Friday. Please take the time to thank a veteran.  I can tell you from experience that those words mean a lot to the men and women of our military.  Those words mean a lot to their families and to their children. It lets them know that the sacrifices that they endure does mean something to the citizens of this country.

We are a military family.  I’ve been with hubby when strangers have come up to him to shake his hand and to say simply “thank you for your service.”  Those words meant more to him than many of the awards and medals he’s won in his career.  They meant a lot to me too. It reminded me that it’s not “all for nothing.” It never fails to make both of us a little teary-eyed as we walked away, vowing silently to serve honorably – hubby as a soldier and me as a supportive & understanding spouse.

This is our life.  We are content knowing that this is where we are meant to be.  Is it a hard life?  Of course! Deployments and separations are very hard especially on the kids.  It’s hard in the sense that when it comes to a career, I (as the trailing spouse) have to start all over each time we move.  It’s hard not having my best friend and partner around for a year or longer.  But it’s also a wonderful life.  We’ve gotten to know some of the finest people and made some lifelong friends from all walks of life in the military.   We’ve had opportunities that we probably wouldn’t have had if we’d chosen another life.

The greatest satisfaction that we have as a family is knowing that in some small way we are helping to make this a safer world because of hubby’s service.  This is how I view the service of every other man & woman past and present – that because of their service we have the kind of lives that we have today. So to all who served from the birth of this great country to now, I want to thank you for giving me and my family the opportunities and the freedoms we enjoy today.  To your families, the unsung heroes, thank you!

Regardless of where you stand in the political spectrum, if only for this week, tell a veteran or a member still serving in the armed forces “thank you.”  Two simple words but it makes a huge difference!

This is a tribute to our Samoan men and women (Toa o Samoa) in the Armed Forces by Taps Band, a well known music group in American Samoa.  Enjoy!

Breathing While Brown

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Since I was MIA from my blog the last year or so, I didn’t have a chance to post about SB 1070, the Arizona law that allows police to demand an indvidual show documentation if there is a reasonable doubt that they are here illegally.

When news of the proposed legislation in Arizona broke out last year my first reaction was one of unbelief.  Is this really happening here in America? I also felt real fear! Fear for my children because if this were to become law in the whole country, what guarantee do I have that my children will not be targeted because of the color of their skin?  You see my biggest fear about this law is that it promotes racial profiling because “reasonable suspicion that they might be an undocumented immigrant” often  translates to someone that is other than white.

This law as one blogger said really should be called Breathing While Brown. I don’t know if she coined this term but it is now quite common as a way of referring to this law.  Please read her post, it is insightful and right on the mark!

I was pleased when I heard that our state attorney general is vehemently opposed to proposals for a similar law in our state.  However, the fact that there are lawmakers here that are pushing for it is matter of great concern to me.  It should be a matter of concern to all of us as citizens of this country. Think about it, all of us are affected by this law one way or another either directly or indirectly.  Even if you know that you are “safe” and you won’t ever be suspected of being an illegal, you probably have loved ones that aren’t going to be so safe under this law. Of course, you could be one of the few families that have consistently married strictly within the “safe” race so you’ll never have to be concerned about a child or grandchild being pulled over because of the way they look.

I’ve posted before about immigration so you know that I’m adamantly opposed to illegal immigration but Arizona’s answer to the problem isn’t the solution. If you are as scared about this as I am and how this is going to affect your children then we can’t be complacent, we have to speak up!

Are You For Real?

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The other day my hubby and I were at the local Sam’s Club and were walking up to pay for our things when the palagi cashier looked up at us and asked in all seriousness, “which one of you speaks English?”  Let’s see, both hubby and I are fluent in both Samoan and English but you’re asking us if we speak English…e pa’upa’u, alu ia e oso!

Well suffice it to say that she will not be making that mistake ever again.

I mean seriously…you see two brown people and immediately assume that they don’t speak English?  She tried desperately to backtrack when she realized just how much trouble she was in by explaining that they get so many Mexicans in the store that don’t speak English.  Seriously? Are you for real lady? No disrespect to my Mexican friends but I’m not Mexican.  I guess all brown people look the same to some people.  Even if I was Mexican you just don’t greet people by asking which one of them speaks English.  For one, that’s just downright rude, and second, it’s lousy customer service!  She didn’t even bother to wait and see if we did or did not speak English.  She merely looked up, saw two brown people and made a judgement.

Then a few days ago at work, yet another palagi woman with a young daughter in tow comes up to me and asks, “do you mind if my daughter practices saying a few things in Spanish to you?”  Seriously, are you for real lady? Your daughter can say whatever the heck she wants to say to me in Spanish but don’t expect me to understand a word she’s saying.

This time when I told hubby about it he laughed and said I have to quit looking so much like a Latina. Once in awhile we do see the humorous side of it, ha ha ha.

Do people really don’t know that there are all kinds of people in this world?  Are people really that ignorant?  Are all Asian looking people Japanese?  Are all caucasian looking people Americans? Do all white people speak English?  I wonder if two white people who happened to speak only German, French (or whatever) walked up if she’d even think to ask “which one of you speaks English?”

My Chinese American friend and I talked about this and many other similiar experiences.  She happens to be married to a palagi who when they first met mentioned that he’s never experienced anything like this in his life.  To which she replied, well of course not, you’re white!

Yes, we’ve come a long way and yes I absolutely love this country but we still have a long way to go!

Conversations from the road

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Road trips.  Yeah, that other great American past-time.  Hitting the road with the whole family and the dog.  In our case, it’s the whole family minus the dog.  Sorry animal lovers, I do like animals as long as they don’t come near me and as long as they live in someone else’s house.

Road trips are often an exercise in saint-like patience, something I don’t have at all.  I mean you’re cooped up in the car for hours, your muli hurts from sitting for so long, the kids drive you crazy asking “are we almost there” every 15 minutes, and you can’t have any of the yummy snacks (chips, cookies, candies) because you’re on another diet.   Munching on an apple is just not the same as sinking your teeth into a king size Butterfinger on these trips.  Torture, I tell you, pure torture. 

Still, road trips have become sort of a family tradition and it has grown on me over the years.   We’ve been on a lot of road trips, that’s for sure.   We’ve even driven coast to coast not once but three times.  Over the years, we’ve developed a pattern that works for us.  Basically hubby navigates and drives, the kids play their xbox or watch a movie, and me, well as my boys sometimes like to say when they’re caught dozing when they should be paying attention –  I watch the back of my eyelids.   Well I do navigate when I need to, for example if we’re traveling on an unfamiliar highway or street, then of course I sit with the map on my lap ready to tell hubby which intersection to take, er, if I can figure out the map, that is.   The next family car we’re picking out is defintely going to come with a GPS.  It’s just as necessary as air conditioning as far as I’m concerned.

Seriously though, my favorite thing about these long trips is having insightful conversations with my boys.  Not the superficial “how was your day” type that we sometimes fall into on a daily basis or the awkward “interview” that happens when we ask one of them to sit down with us to talk about something.   The interview is usually associated with “I’m in trouble” in their minds so they’re immediately on the defensive.  I know my barriers went up whenever I heard my parents say that they needed to talk to me about something. 

No, these road trip conversations are different.  They’re often fun and quite relaxed.  There is something about being cooped up in the car for hours that allows them to talk freely about anything and everything.   There is nothing planned or rehearsed about it.  Its spontaneous, usually starting with one of them saying something like, “Mom, did you know that ………?” Or sometimes its “Did you hear about that incident in the news ……….?”  Or this one aimed directly at me, “So Mom, when you were my age did you ……….?”  Or “is it true that…….?” These and similar openers like them have led us to some of our most enjoyable and enlightening discussions while on our many road trips.

This past week we took another road trip, only a 6 hour one this time, but it was enough time for our high schooler to explain in detail why he thinks that his European History teacher is a weirdo, that a couple of kids in his class are getting on his nerves and what he did about it, that he’s going to stay with us until he’s forty since I’m not letting him get his driver’s license yet, and that I’m getting a lot of gray hair so what am I going to do about it.  And somewhere in there we had a great discussion about the economy and racism in this country.  He is taking mostly Honors and AP classes so he is quite the intellectual.  It was no mean feat keeping up with him, good thing I’m a nerd just like him:-).  In fact, he did ask me if I was a nerd in high school and I said, “Of course.  There is nothing wrong with being a nerd, nerds are cool.”

How Do I Love Thee

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I heard a woman the other day talk about her experiences in China.  This woman (we’ll call her Ann so I don’t have to keep referring to her as this woman) and her husband spent a year teaching English in China.  They had just returned home and were invited to share their experiences.

I thought they were an admirable couple.  I was impressed with what they shared and with their dedication.  However, there was one small part of the story that got under my skin, actually it irritated the heck out of me.

She told us that in addition to teaching English to their students, she felt that they also taught another lesson – how to love.  She went on to say that her students couldn’t stop marveling at how her and her husband always held hands wherever they went.  She said her students were impressed with the way they publicly showed their affection for one another.   So what is so objectionable about that?

I was bothered at the way she seemed to equate and interpret the lack of these behaviors in her Chinese students.  She made it sound as if the absence of these outward signs meant that the Chinese (or at least the ones she interacted with) do not love as strongly, or even love as we do.  In her mind, the fact that her students didn’t display their affection for one another publicly showed that they were somehow- less.  Less loving, less worthy, less modern?  I don’t know, it just came across as less.  Perhaps her students “marveled” because they couldn’t believe that someone could behave so contrary to the acceptable customs and social mores of their host country.   Just a thought.  Maybe her students even excused it the same way we in Samoa excuse a behavior that isn’t normally acceptable, that is, shrug it off and say, “they’re not Samoans, they don’t know any better.”

I wanted to tell Ann that not all cultures approve of public display of affection.  I wanted to but didn’t.  Debated if I should say something to her then decided to let it go just in case I’m misinterpreting her intended message.    

I’m asked (directly and indirectly) from time to time about romantic love in Samoa.  In Samoa, couples don’t hold hands in public, at least, traditionally, we don’t.  Who knows, maybe things are slowly changing.  Actually, you will see grown women or grown men holding hands from time to time, but don’t be shocked.  It’s not what you think, they’re just buddies.  That’s just how we roll, lol.

As far as lovers smooching in public in Samoa, be warned, don’t ever do it.  Making out in public is an absolute no-no, and would be considered insulting to those around you and the epitome of rudeness on your part. 

So does this mean that Samoans don’t love as passionately as someone else growing up here in America.  Of course not!  That is so obviously ludricous I can’t even imagine that anyone would think that.   Samoan culture may frown on outward displays of affection but we do love just as strongly as the couple that flaunts their affection in public.  

So when it comes to the question of how do I love thee, or perhaps more to the point of this post, how do I show how much I love thee?  The answer is – that depends.   It depends on who you are, where you are, and what cultural and social mores are acceptable in any given situation.  What may be perfectly normal for you may be taboo for someone else.