…Support and Defend…

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Father & Son

I purposefully don’t post about personal things because I didn’t want this blog to be a typical “mommy blog” where I write about the daily happenings in our home, the comings and goings of my family.  That was never my intention when I started this blog and it still isn’t but I just have to write about this one momentous occasion so I hope you indulge me this one time.  Not that there’s anything wrong with mommy blogs – it’s just not what I want to write about.  It probably has something to do with my aversion to sharing too dang much or even a little bit about my private life, lol.

Yesterday, our oldest son took the oath to protect and serve his country as a member of the U.S. Armed Forces.  It was a special moment for our family made even more special by the fact that his father swore him in.  That’s the two of them in the picture above. My son has now joined a long line of his father’s family who served and are still serving in the military making this an honored family tradition.  I’m a proud military wife and as of yesterday a proud military mother.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again, I’m grateful to be a citizen of this great country. I’m proud of the fact that members of my family are counted among those who have defended and are continuing to defend our constitution and nation.

This may not sound too democratic since we’re all about freedom of choice and all that but if it was up to me, I’d require every young man and woman between the ages of 18 and 24 to serve a mandatory term of 1-3 years in the Armed Forces like they do in Israel.  I think it would do them a world of good.  Not only would they be providing a service to their country but they’d also be learning a valuable skill or trade in the process.  More importantly, it would help them realize that citizenship and the rights that they enjoy to live like they do and sound off whenever and about whoever comes on the backs and sacrifices of others.

And I believe that protecting this country or any country for that matter should be a shared responsibility among everyone who calls themselves a citizen of that country!

Samoa’s Third Gender

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We were watching a video of the Samoa Flag Day festivities a couple of nights ago and it dawned on me that we Samoans have a pretty sick sense of humor, at least that’s probably how it appears to a non-Samoan.

The entertainment featured a number of skits and dances performed by men dressed as women.  One of the strangest skits was about domestic abuse which was fine if the point was to teach that men shouldn’t be beating the heck out of their wives but the skit didn’t attempt to teach, merely to entertain.  It made physical abuse a laughing matter which isn’t funny except in a twisted kind of a way.  What is it that we say … e ese lava le mea e aka ai le Samoa…or perhaps, I missed the point.

These performances got the biggest laughs from the locals that were in attendance.  But whenever the camera panned the audience, the foreigners were noticeably ‘not laughing.’  Wonder what they really thought of the fact that we Samoans find the antics of men dressing and acting as women hilarious.  Were they put off by the performances?  Were they shocked by the obvious approval of the crowd?  Guess you have to be Samoan to appreciate a Samoan idea of a joke or a funny.

Admittedly, some of the men were just guys playing the part of women in the skit, but some of them were fa’afafines – Samoa’s third gender.

I don’t know of any other country in the world where the third gender (men who dress, act and live as women) is as accepted and as commonplace as Samoa.  Fa’afafines are everywhere in Samoa and American Samoa and that is not an exaggeration!

They’re not hiding in the closet suppressing their feminine side like they would if they were living in the U.S. or other countries.  Rather they live and work in public as fa’afafines complete with puletasi, high heels, purse and makeup.  They contribute significantly to their families, villages and communities.  They’re school teachers, government workers, athletes, interior decorators, tailors, babysitters, cooks and cannery workers.  They’re Sunday school teachers.

So are we Samoans to be praised for being leaps and bounds ahead of every other country in our acceptance and approval of the third gender?

On the other hand…

Do we have such a large population  of fa’afafines in Samoa because Samoans (by our direct and/or indirect approval) encourage tendencies for the third gender?

Which leads to this question…

Is being fa’afafine a choice?

Skipping Friday

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Samoa will go to go to sleep tonight Thursday, December 29 and wake up Saturday morning December 31.

Sounds like something from a science fiction movie, but this is really happening and it’s happening tonight. The switch makes economic sense for Samoa as it will align Samoa with its Asia-Pacific business partners including New Zealand, Australia and other Pacific Rim countries such as Singapore.

Prime Minister of Samoa, Tuila’epa Sailele Malielegaoi reiterated that today Samoa does more business with New Zealand, Australia, and China. He continued, “In doing business with New Zealand and Australia, we’re losing out on two working days a week,” Mr. Tuila’epa said. “While it’s Friday here, it’s Saturday in New Zealand, and when we’re at church on Sunday, they’re already conducting business in Sydney and Brisbane.”

This change puts Samoa back to the western side of the international date line where it used to be prior to 1892.  In 1892, American traders in Samoa facilitated the change to the eastern side of the international date line so that they could easily conduct business with the western United States.

Neighboring American Samoa will not be affected by the change.  It’ll be a little strange for Samoans who travel from Pago Pago to Apia and vice versa on a regular basis but with anything else, I’m sure we’ll get used to it.

So what does the change mean for Samoans?  Well aside from celebrating the fact that the weekend is here earlier, workers will also get paid for Friday even though there isn’t going to be a Friday.  Two good reasons right there to throw a party wouldn’t you say…and it sounds like there’s a big party in Apia tonight.  Hotel guests staying in any hotel in Samoa will not be charged for the nonexistent day.  So the nonexistent Friday turns out to be a good deal for employees and visitors to Samoa.

Here’s another silver lining for those who were born on December 30th and happen to be living in Samoa or visiting Samoa this week… you didn’t get any older this year because technically speaking December 30th never happened!

Ua Liva Liva Aso…

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We all know THEM.  Hopefully, you’re not one of THEM.  If you are one of THEM then I  feel sorry for you because you really are an idiot!

THEM are those Samoans who less than a year after leaving Samoa for Amelika, Niu Sila, Ausikalia etc can barely speak Samoan anymore.  At least, they do their darnest to make themselves sound like they can’t speak Samoan.  Surely you’ve come across one of THEM at least.  I know a few of them. One of them was a girl from our village, we grew up together, were in the same classes in Samoa until she moved to NZ at the end of our Form 2 year.  Almost a year later, she was back in Samoa for a family thing and she must have had amnesia some time that year because she didn’t remember or understand a word of Samoan anymore.  This was the same girl who was such an aifafasa one used to feel sorry for her.  Kalofae isi mea valea.

THEM are those Samoans who are gone from Samoa for a few months and upon returning to Samoa have been heard to say ” e le masagi i pilikaki,” or some such nonsense.  Yes, there are a few Samoans who grow up and live in Samoa who never ever have to eat pilikaki or who never have to do feaus.  But the ones that I’ve personally heard and witnessed acting like this are the same ones who were grateful when they had pilikaki.  Ia ai laga ua liva liva aso e le’i koe ai i se k-a-e-mu.

THEM are those Samoans who leave Samoa as teens or adults having spoken nothing but Samoan and a little English in our English-only schools, and now can’t even pronounce their own Samoan last name properly.  I kid you not – their own Samoan names!  I can understand forgetting one’s native language when transplanted to a different culture and language as a very young child and you become completely immersed in that other language.  But forgetting that language after speaking it for the first 14, 15, 16 years of your life…I don’t think so.  Most Samoans that come to live in the States, NZ etc live with their Samoans families or stay connected to a Samoan community.  And Samoan is spoken in these homes and communities.  English too but Samoan as well.  Not exactly total immersion in another language.  So the only logical reason for such an adult or a young adult from Samoa to forget how to say their own Samoan name is because he’s a friggin imbecile.

Hubby met such a person today.  Person walks up to hubby and asks hubby if he’s Hawaiian.  Hubby said no, he’s Samoan.  Person then says he’s Samoan too.  Then hubby starts talking to him in Samoan because (according to hubby) person didn’t sound like he was a native English speaker (translation – o le Samoa ga ola i Samoa).  Person then expresses his amazement that hubby speaks such good Samoan and asks hubby for his name and village (still in English).  Hubby responds in Samoan and then asks person for his name and where he comes from in Samoa.  Person replies he’s from ******** Savaii, and that his last name is  ************* all pronounced the way a palagi would say it.  Actually, that’s not fair to palagis because many palagis who live in Samoa for a couple of years pick up the language and the native accent fairly well and are proud of the fact that they can still speak Samoan for years afterwards.  E mimika le palagi pe’a iloa fa’aSamoa ae o le au aifafasa lea e ma i laga gagaga. Come to find out, my brother knows Person.  Person moved to Amelika after finishing high school in Samoa so he was at least 18 ae o lea ua leiloa ka’u loga fa’ai’u Samoa.  Ga’o loka fia pu’a'i lava i aga a gei vale.

Brings to mind the song “Aso Le Mativa” especially the part where the guy reminds his uppity girlfriend of her humble beginnings because she’s conveniently forgotten that he knew and loved her when she was wearing nothing but a kigi kaga for a skirt.  Like the girlfriend, some hamos have conveniently forgotten that there’s always someone who knew them back in da day so where they get off pretending that they don’t know Samoan is beyond me.

Ua kakau oga iai se subcategory o kagaka fa’apea, a le fia Samoa ia ai o se Kaemoa!

Papa & Koko Samoa

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No, this post is not about my father!

It’s about food. Again. It’s official, I have food on the brain, specifically Samoan food.  Perhaps it’s the season, perhaps I’m hungry, or perhaps it’s the enticing aroma of sugared coconut milk coming from the kitchen.  Yes, hubby is at it again.

Le iloga se mea e kalenia ai le kamaloa,  amuia lava a’u i fafine uma o le gei paneka a ea, choo hoo. Ia ua lava lea gaga se’i kusi fa’auma le kala o le papa

Papa (pronounced papa as in father but it’s drawn out so you’d say pa-pa) is a sort of Samoan hard bread.  The full name is fa’apapa but most Samoans I know just call it papa. The ingredients for papa are flour, sugar, coconut milk, and water.  You can also use coconut juice instead of water if you happen to have a couple of cans in the pantry.  Basically, you throw all your ingredients together in a bowl and mix them to create a batter (like pancakes) but not as watery.  Sccop your batter into foil if you live in the States or NZ otherwise you’d use lau fa’i (banana leaves) if you were making them in Samoa.  Bake until golden brown.

Papa is usually eaten as a snack but in times of famine or when it’s a particularly bad year for crops (taro, breadfruit, bananas, etc) it becomes a staple in the Samoan diet. Papa is one of those goodies locals bring back from Samoa along with an umu, bongos, wahoo, and koko samoa.

Koko Samoa is Samoan cocoa and it’s made from cocoa beans.  Cocoa trees grow in abundance in Samoa.  In fact, as a young girl. my friends and I used to climb cocoa trees to get ripe cocoa pods , they weren’t that big or tall so we were perfectly safe.  We’d crack them open and suck the ripened sweet cocoa beans.   It satisfied our craving for sweets and it was cheaper (free) and healthier than the store bought candy kids devour today.

Koko Samoa is sold at the makeki in Apia and also exported to the States and other countries.  We bought ours from the Samoan store here for $7 (US dollars), a bargain when you consider the hard work that goes into harvesting, roasting, and pounding the koko into the paste that is sold to Samoan koko lovers and connossieurs all over the world to be enjoyed as an after dinner drink or for igu ga ki at the New Year’s Eve vaeluaga and celebration.

Samoan Delicacies

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Got home today and hubby was cooking fish, taro and palusami. He’d even picked up a container of kuikui from the Samoan store because he knew I was craving seafood. Not the usual fare of shrimp, tilapia and salmon that is about the only kind available in our landlocked state but the kind of seafood that is common in Samoa. I wanted fresh seafood, the kind that smelled and tasted like it just came from the ocean.  The kuikui definitely delivered.  Kuikui and taro, ia ua uma upu!

Have I mentioned how much I love this man…there’s something very sexy about a big strong Samoan man cooking for his wife and I’m not just saying that because my tummy is full.  It is sexy and sweet so all you men that don’t cook for your ladies what on earth are you waiting for?

Kuikui aka sea urchin or uni in Japanese is a prickly little devil on the outside.  Click on the image to watch the video clip of a professional sushi chef preparing kuikui.  Be warned, it is an aquired taste.  It’s a little weird looking inside and out but hey so is frog legs on a plate.  Those of you who don’t venture out much when it comes to culinary experiences might find it downright gross but like I always tell my burger and fries friends, you’ve got to get out more.  I’d always considered kuikui a Samoan delicacy.  Not so, we Samoans don’t hold a monopoly on this delicacy. I discovered that they eat kuikui in Japan, Mexico, and its served in sushi bars around the world.

It’s funny because I can eat a whole jar of kuikui all by myself and yet I can’t stand another famous Samoan delicacy – sea.  No, not sea (as in “ocean”), it’s sea as in that’s the Samoan word for it, sounds like “wear” without the “r’ at the end and with a “s” instead of a “w.”  It’s sea cucumber or sea slugs, I know, yuck. Sea is truly disgusting, looks like snot according to Andrew Z and stinks like day old puke.  Now I love pretty much every kind of seafood that’s known to man but me and sea just don’t mix.  This is one taste that you don’t want to acquire!

Palolo is another Samoan delicacy that comes from the ocean.  This one is a rare treat because it’s only available once a year.   What’s palolo?  Are you ready for this?  Palolo is a worm, a coral worm to be exact and those tiny little suckers are delicious.  Sounds disgusting but believe you me, they taste heavenly and they are expensive if you’re lucky enough to even find them on sale. Kinda like caviar, don’t you think…I mean people actually pay hundreds of dollars for fish eggs?

Incidentally, these delicacies were featured in an episode of Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern.  Andrew has a point, what’s common cuisine in one country could be an exotic edible in another.  To this I would add that what’s disgusting to one is fine dining to another.  Bon appetit!

Life Lessons of 2011

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In a few more days, we’ll bid farewell to yet another year.  Was 2011 a good year for you or was it filled with hardships and challenges?

By the way, doesn’t it seem as if the older we get the faster the years go by? I remember when I was a kid it felt like an eternity before Christmas came around.  As a young girl growing up in Samoa, it was agonizing how long it took for the year to end which also coincided with the end of the school year.  So not only did we have Christmas to look forward to, we were also more than ready to be done with school by this time.   Now it seems as if you blink and another year has gone by…does that sound familiar?

So what sort of a year was 2011? Honestly, it was a year of ups and downs, mostly ups but the downs were significant enough to make me appreciate all the good things in my life.  It’s probably like that for most of you.  I believe that life works that way anyway, we all have our share of the good and the bad, the sorrows and the joys, the successes and the failures.  When it comes right down to it, it’s going through these experiences that makes us who we are.

So here’s a few of the many life lessons I learned or was reminded of in 2011:

  • I can’t control or dictate my children’s lives and choices.  They need to be given the opportunity to live their own lives and learn from their mistakes just like I did from mine.
  • Related to the first one but needed it’s own bullet since it deals with girlfriends and possibly future spouses – I can’t choose my sons girlfriends or who they fall inlove with so I have to bite my tongue and either hope I’m wrong or that they won’t be too badly hurt in their relationships.
  • My time is too precious to waste on things, thoughts, and people that aren’t important to me.  There is too much else that I can and should focus on and as noted above very little time to do it.
  • Celebrate the little things.  Celebrate the small victories and the every day happenings.  Celebrate life.  Our time here is brief so make the most of it. You never know if you’ll have another tomorrow so make today count and spend it with the people that you love.
  • It’s perfectly fine to say No sometimes. I don’t have the resources, the time or the energy to do all that I sometimes feel is expected of me. I don’t need to feel guilty about it either.
  • We should enjoy the “fruits of our labor.” We work really hard for what we have so it’s ok to splurge on ourselves once in awhile.  Better us than giving it to a sao ga mea for a fa’alavelave like the wedding or the funeral of someone we don’t even know.
  • Friends and family will disappoint, annoy, anger us and let us down and we in turn will do the same to our friends and family. We all make mistakes.  Because every situation is different and unique each of us will have to decide what they can or can’t put up with, who they can or can’t live without, and whether it’s worth the effort or not.
  • Parenting is a tough job and it’s even tougher when our kids are in their teens and young adult years.  And no matter what anyone else says, there’s no single formula that works for every family.
  • Fad diets really don’t work because once you start eating regularly again, the weight will come back.  This should be a no-brainer but like many of you I’d rather lose a lot of weight fast than a measly 4 pounds a month.  I did come across one woman’s weight loss story that has really inspired me so I plan to do what she did in 2012, that is, losing the weight the slow but healthy way. I don’t need to lose as much as she did so hopefully it won’t take me as long.
  • Samoa is shrinking!  Just kidding.  It seems that way to me though.  We’ve gone back to Samoa every summer for three years now and each time it seems as if the islands are getting smaller and smaller.  I’m reminded each time we’re in Samoa of the many life lessons I learned growing up there.  More than this though, these last couple of trips to Samoa reminded me of the hardships of trying to eke out a living there and I can’t help but be grateful for the opportunities that I’ve had in my life.

So what lessons did you learn in 2011?  Did you have an experience that completely change your mind and heart or change some long held beliefs?