Tag Archives: Samoan culture

The Orator – A Review

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After much anticipation Friday January 20th finally arrived and with hard won Sundance Film Festival tickets in hand we stood in line for the opening night showing of The Orator.  As expected, it was sold out  so we made sure to be there an hour early to get a good spot in line.  When we got there however, we discovered that others had already been standing in line for 4 hours just to be sure they too got a good seat.  What surprised me was the fact that they weren’t Samoans, they weren’t even Polynesians.  I was happy that a Samoan film by a Samoan filmmaker had the kind of draw that it did to bring out such a diverse audience.

I’ll come right out and tell you, I loved the film.  Yes, I was moved by the story line, the love and companionship between such an unlikely couple and the courage of one that is often looked upon as being the least of us.  I loved the way our culture was portrayed in the film.  It depicted our Samoan way of life with the kind of unapologetic brutal honesty that only one who has lived the fa’aSamoa can do but it was done so with great respect for the Samoan culture and people.

I said unapologetic brutal honesty because it depicted many things that perhaps we’d rather the whole world doesn’t see like the makape’ape’a that sometimes accompanies the si’is or the way we treat others who are different.  But this does happen in Samoa.  I saw it growing up, I still see it sometimes when I visit Samoa.  These scenes weren’t a figment of the writer’s imagination, he too saw it growing up in Samoa.  The only difference between us is that Tusi had the talent and the courage to bring these scenes to life in a way that tells this story of Samoa.  Our Samoan way of life isn’t always perfect or fair but then what way of life is?

I loved the fact that the whole film was in Samoan.  I felt so proud to be Samoan and sitting in that audience with other Samoan families as well as Tongans, palagis, sainas, meaulis, and a host of other ethnic groups.  They laughed along with us at the typical fob jokes.  They got it, they really did!  A Tongan even asked Tusi during the Q&A session if he would consider directing a film in Tongan.  High praise indeed, don’t you think?

The artistry alone was worth the ticket to the movie.  Our Samoa is certainly a beautiful country, isn’t it?  Looking at the lush greenery and scenery made me yearn for another visit to Samoa.  And the sound of the rain on the tin rooftops, who can forget that?   Definitely brought back memories of falling asleep to that special melody.  Did I even stop to notice that when I was young girl in Samoa?  Probably not as it was just another beat in the harmony that makes up the rhythm of life that is uniquely Samoan.

The Orator is a film that transcends ethnic and language barriers and touches the humanity in all of us.  It felt real and true!  It’s not a story that is only based in Samoa with a sprinkling of Samoan characters, quotes and scenes. It wasn’t a ripoff of another film or book masquerading as a Samoan movie.  Rather, it is a Samoan story, the heart and soul of the film is Samoan, and that more than any of the many other excellent aspects of this film is what I love the most about The Orator.

One of the greatest contributions this film has made is introducing the Samoan culture and way of life to young Samoans growing up outside of Samoa.  The Orator has sparked a renewed sense of cultural pride in a whole new generation of Samoans as indicated by the number of comments from young Samoan Americans professing their love of their culture and for being Samoans on facebook.  What other book or movie about Samoa can say that?

Fa’amalo Tusi, well done. Like we told you Friday night, you did us so proud.  We also liked your response when asked about the slow pace of the movie, you’re right, it is at the pace of life in Samoa.  We’ve become so accustomed to life in the fast lane and movies that go bang from the word go that we’ve become impatient with movies and scripts that make us wait.  We have to re-learn how to savor people, fai fai malie, folofolo lemu ae aua le so’o ga kolupu pei o se ai u, lol.  I asked you if you’re planning to make more movies in Samoa and in the Samoan language and I really hope that you will. Will there be a sequel to The Orator? For one thing, I’m hoping that you’ll confirm the suspicion that I have about Litia’s father because if I’m reading between the lines correctly then it can only be one person.  So to be continued…hopefully?

Tausi Matua

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A friend called on Sunday and we had a lovely visit over the phone. She updated me on the latest in her nook of the woods and I brought her up to speed on what’s been happening with my hubby and kids.  Somehow we got to talking about some Samoan parents and the expectations they have for their kids.  Specifically, we talked about the custom that we refer to in Samoan as “kausi makua.”

Before I go any further, I have to say that this is actually one of the practices that I really like about our culture. When I look around and see the many parents and elderly people who are apparently abandoned by their kids, I shake my head with unbelief that anyone could have so little regard for their parents.  You hear of parents being shipped off to elderly care centers and pretty much left to the care of the staff there.  Their children are too busy to even visit.

I recently had to be involved in a case of an elderly woman who had to have surgery for colon cancer.  She has no family whatsoever, at least none that would claim her. She had to rely on us (the women in her church) to take her to the hospital, to stay with her during her surgery, check up on her after her surgery, and now to take her to her daily chemo treatments. I feel so sad that she doesn’t have a single family member to help her through this ordeal. So, I am very grateful that our culture doesn’t just throw our elderly away. 

“Throw away” might be too strong of a phrase but that is exactly what it is. Sure, they might be thrown away in a nice, sterile, expensive senior home but the intention and the message is still the same – I have no time for you, you are of no use to me anymore, I have more important things to do, I have a life to live and I can’t live it with you hanging aorund my neck.

I’m not against senior homes and senior care facilities for our parents at all. I think they are great. I’m sure a lot of them are run by wonderful caring people. I also know that a lot of people who choose to put their parents there do so because that is the best place for them to be. Some of our parents will need intensive medical attention and a senior home is the best place since they will have access to that kind of care there 24/7.  As a parent, I also know that sometimes there is just no way you can take care of an aging parent full time if you have to work full time in order to take care of basic needs for you and your kids.  So senior care centers are neccessary and are the only option for many people at times. 

Now, I know that I said earlier that I appreciate and I’m glad that in our culture we revere our elderly and we take care of them. We know that it is our duty to take care of our parents and we gladly take on that responsibility when the time comes. I can’t think of a single Samoan who wouldn’t take his or her parents in when the parents reach a stage where they can no longer take care of themselves. I absolutely love this about our culture.

What my friend and I talked about though was the fact that sometimes this expectation can be a burden on the kids.  I’m not talking about the occasional contributions that we give when our parents really need it or when there’s a fa’alavelave but the expectation on the part of a few parents that every single paycheck you get, you give a certain amount to your parents even though you are married and have a family of your own.  I’m well aware that this is a generalization and that not all of our Samoan parents feel this way or expect this of their children, this is why I said “on the part of a few parents.” I also know that there are exceptions and unique situations.  For example, my parents moved in with us here in the States a few years ago after they retired from Samoa. Now when they moved up here they both still wanted to work because they are just not the kind of people that are happy just sitting around the house all day long doing nothing. However, due to their ages they had a really hard time finding someone that would hire them, even though they are highly educated (both have college degrees) and both have been school teachers for most of their lives. My mother finally found an office job but my father never did.  In our case, most of the financial care for our parents from that point on fell on us and fortunately we were at a point where we could provide that care and support for them.

On the other hand, a young married couple (like the one my friend and I were talking about) just starting out are normally far from being financially set. They need to take care of their immediate family first, and once you’re married, your immediate family is your spouse and kids, not your parents.  This appears to be a hard fact for some of our Samoan parents to accept. Why do I say this? Because I hear a lot of our Samoan parents say things like this; “ia ua fai loa le ko’alua ua le kou sau lava e aumai se mea ma maua” or “ia ua maua loa mea ua galo mai lima ma vae nei ga kausia i kausaga e kele” etc.  Usually, you’d also hear “o kakou Samoa, ua uma lava oga kakou iloa o kakou manuia uma lava e sau mai kakou makua” somewhere in that discussion.

Yes, it is true that we are blessed when we take care of our parents.  Yes, we do get blessings from our parents. But, as parents we also need to realize that there are times when our kids are just not in a position where they can support their families and give us a little every month too.  As parents we need to know that there comes a time when we’re not the most important people in our kids lives.  As parents we need to know that if we want our kids to help us we need to give them a chance to get on their feet first. There is a saying that I really like, “You can’t give from an empty plate.” The young couple are friends of ours. The husband was raised in Samoa and the wife is part Samoan but raised here in the States so she is having a hard time with this issue.

Sao ga mea

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I was talking to a colleague the other day who happens to be  married to a Samoan guy.  BTW she is white.  The poor thing went on and on about how miserable she was because it seems that every month they have to give money for this fa’alavelave or that fa’alavelave.   I really sympathized with her and I also realized that as much as I abhor what is happening with this practice I really am not doing anything about it except gripe about it myself.

 I have no problem with the occasional sao ga mea and I do realize that sometimes everything just seem to happen all at the same time.  I’ve also been on the receiving end of the sao ga mea issue since we’ve had a couple of occasions when family has helped us for our fa’alavelaves.   Like every other Samoan who still subscribes to our traditional values I’ve also been the one giving the help on more than a few occasions and we’ve done so gladly and given what we were able to give.

However, I am saddened when I see a practice that was meant to be an expression of love turn into something that has literally put some people in the poor house.  I mean isn’t it ridiculous that people have to get loans so that they can make their kusaga for a fa’alavelave?  I look at our Samoan people who mostly have very humble means and I wonder at why they would put their own immediate families in debt just so they can make a kusaga for the wedding of their father’s third cousin’s daughter’s son.  I know for a fact that some would give a $1000.00 kusaga and yet rely on welfare to feed their kids, the same kids who come to school wearing worn and ragged clothes and have no school supplies.

 What is wrong with this picture?  How did we get to this point?  I’m not a sociologist but I do have some strong opinions on the matter.  I think we got here because some people in our Samoan society think that the way to impress the whole village of 20 or so families is to put on this great big production.  They like to hear comments like, “sole makua kele lava kupe a le aiga lale, (or) fa’ako’a ou va’ai lava lea i se keke e 15 oga fogafale, (or) o le kamaloa e kele.   Of course the next family who has a wedding or a funeral will try to outdo this other family and so it goes…

In order to pull off these huge productions o le la sa fai loan e kai fia afe on top of asking every Tom, Dick, and Harry they are related to to put in ni ka’i $500, $1000 or more.  Why? Why? Why?  Not only has he put himself in debt but everyone else who put in may also have accrued debts so that they can put in the unreasonable amount of money requested for kusaga.

Why is it so hard for us to give only what we can and to say no when we can’t?  Why is it so hard for us to just be satisfied with a simple wedding, a simple aiga when that is all we can afford?  I mean who are we trying to fool?  In Samoa we can all see how every other family lives and with a handful of exceptions we’re all living pretty much paycheck to paycheck.  There aren’t many millionaires with tons of money to burn running around in Samoa.  I’m talking about Samoa but its a practice we see everywhere we Samoans live - in the US, in New Zealand, etc. 

Why?  Why? Why? 

I suspect that too many times when it comes for sao ga mea for these fa’alavelaves we give because we feel we’ll be ostracized when we don’t.   If that is the case that is really sad.   But its also sad that by not saying no we are helping to perpetuate this potential destructive practice.  I won’t say custom because I really don’t believe it is our custom to give so irresponsibily.  Yes, I do believe that it is our custom to give and to share WHAT WE CAN but not to give what we don’t have or to go into debt so that someone else can feel like a big shot. 

I really hope that our young Samoan women who may someday have a voice in their own families learn to put their foot down and say no to unreasonable requests for kusaga because if you are anything like most Samoan women I know, myself included, we control the purse strings and we say yea or nay when it comes to these things.   Giving, sharing, helping our families in times of fa’alavelave are all good things.  I wouldn’t want to ever see that go away.  It is part of what makes us who we are but it needs to be done responsibily or it can get out of hand like I’ve seen on too many occasions.