Tag Archives: stereotypes

Pride and Acceptance

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Yes, the whole question of white vs. black (and all other shades in between) is still alive and well. Do I experience it? Absolutely! Maybe not every day but enough so that it’s something that you need to deal with. Its enough of a concern so that when we found out where we were moving I emailed some contacts and friends (from graduate school days) I had in the area and asked about the diversity of the city. My high schooler and I went to the open house at his school just before school started and the first thing he noticed was that he was the only brown kid there. Not technically true, since I’ve seen one other brown kid there but you get the picture.

So how do I deal with it? By acknowledging that it does exist, accepting it, and dealing with it as it comes up. Sometimes I think I deal with it well, sometimes I totally lose my cool, but most times I think I handle it okay. Of course, like every other parent, I’m sure we all wish that our kids didn’t have to deal with this garbage but unfortunately our country is a long long way from there. So we deal with it as best we can – we teach our kids to be proud of who they are, that they come from a noble heritage, that they are every bit as smart and capable as the next kid whatever color they are. I also tell them that if they ever come across it, say a kid that thinks they are better than them to not waste their time with them because they do not deserve their time and friendship.

Will we ever get to the point where we are really and truly color blind? I doubt it at least not in my lifetime – what a pity! Why am I bringing this up now? Because I sometimes just get really fed up with narrow minded people who think that just because they are a certain color they are better and more deserving than someone else. O taimi fa’apea e vave lava le oso mai ole tiapolo. Ia ae ku’u ai pea ia, lava pea le onosa’i aua e maimau lava le kaimi i vale fa’apea, aea. Well, I really don’t want to generalize as its not everyone but that 20% who feel that way and look down their noses at others because they are different is a large enough number to bother me a whole lot.

To be completely honest and fair we do it too, don’t we?  People from Tutuila have their snide remarks about people from the “moku” and then people from Upolu think that they are better than their cousins from Savaii.  Yeah, we may think its all in good fun,  we’re just joking around, but are we really?  Deep down, don’t we feel just a little superior just because we happened to be born somewhere?  Aren’t we secretly glad that we weren’t born there?  Is that our one claim to fame?  Where we were born?  If that is the case I feel sorry for you sister or you brother.  If you’re going to feel that you are better than someone else, at least feel that way because of something that you have accomplished, something that you’ve earned.  You had nothing at all to do with where you were born, just the luck of the draw.  Oh, and the thing that really makes me laugh is that the people who make fun of their fellow Samoans from the “moku” or from “Savaii” have at least a parent or a grandparent from that island.  Isn’t that a hoot? 

Didn’t someone write a song about this?  Tiama’a, Malia and Alapati? It was an old time Samoan group but I can’t think of the name right now.   Anyway, why can’t we all just get along (ha, ha).  Now I sound like a cheap commerical.  Perhaps, there is no hope for our generation, but we can teach our kids.   We can do what we can so that the next generation can do a better job of accepting people instead of judging them based on color, birth country, or anything else.

Teach our Children

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I don’t know about you but once in awhile I do a search online for any noteworthy mention of Samoa and/or Samoans.   I like to read about how well Samoans are doing in their field, whatever that may be.  I feel a surge of pride in our Samoan people when I read about any Samoan who has accomplished alot in whatever they’re doing.   When I read about our young people who are doing well I feel like sending a huge shoutout and a fa’amalo to them and their families.  It doesn’t matter to me whose daughter or son it is, if they are Samoan I feel a pride in them as if they were my own. 

As a Samoan community we need to be known more for the good things that we do rather than the bad.   Too often we are in the public eye for stupid things that some of our Samoan people might do.  Too often a Samoan is in the news for something really bad.   When such things happen I feel really sad because I know that its another blow to our image as a Samoan people that we really didn’t need.  Of course we all know that our people do a lot more good than bad, that many more of our Samoan people serve their communities proudly and tirelessly but it seems as if the media is there only when one of us falls flat on his or her face.

As a community we need to do more to encourage our young people in their education.  Talk to them about making college a priority in their lives.  Talk to them about setting goals and working hard to achieve them.  I know that one of the reasons we came to this country is to provide a better life for our kids.   A good education is one way to get that good life.   The way I look at it is – I didn’t bring my family here to this land of opportunities so that my kids can work at minimum wage jobs for the rest of their lives.  We need to teach our children to reach higher, to dream bigger, and to go farther.

I know that we sometimes have to deal with stereotypes and ignorance on the part of other people that we come across.  I’ve come across it on many occasions.  When people I meet find out that I’m Samoan I can almost see the wheels in their minds turning and judging me by a stereotype of what they think a Samoan should be.  I enjoy proving their stereotypes wrong.    

As a Samoan woman I am proud of my heritage and take it personally when one or two bad apples give us a bad name.   On the other hand I feel like literally jumping up and down for joy when I read or hear about a Samoan that has done well.  E taunu’u ai le alagaupu fa’a Samoa, “ua fia Falealili fua” because even though I may not know them personally I am just as proud of their accomplishments as if I did.